Oh dear, oh dear, there are now three movies in a row that I’ve watched that I really felt I wasted my money on. Oh Hollywood, why do you disappoint me so? (I should have watched The Jungle Book last week to break this movie curse on me. Dammit!)

Anyway, let me try to remember what I watched yesterday because this movie is truly that forgettable.

The Huntsman: Winter’s War is a sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman, which was also as forgettable. In a nutshell, Evil Queen had Elsa as a sister. Elsa fell in love with Merlin and had a baby with him but Merlin killed the baby (or so she thought) and turned into Ice Queen and killed him. She then moved to the North, took all the children and made them her army. One of them is Thor but Thor felt in love with not-Jane and Elsa was not happy about it because she’s all about hatred so she deceived both of them. Seven years later, after Snow White took over the kingdom in the South, she ordered her army to take away the mirror as it made her ill but the mirror was stolen and Thor had to track it down before Elsa found it and ruled the entire world… or so she thought.

“Or so she thought” should really be the title of the movie – The Huntsman: Or so she thought.

I find the movie really forgettable probably because I could guess from the get-go what happened. It’s so easily predictable – not a bit of suspense to surprise me. Nothing surprises me in the movie. I was able to see the so-called plot twist in the movie within 5 minutes. And the worst part of it all is there will probably be another sequel with that ending dialogue about evil not being truly vanquished. Seriously, producers, please do not revive the Evil Queen. She has survived twice already. Just let go. Please. She’s not a cat with nine lives. Stop it.

But what made me not give this movie a 0 out of 5 for the first time in my history of reviewing movies is the dwarves. They made the movie for me with their hilarious dialogues. That and the soundtrack – Halsey’s Castle was so hauntingly good.

So, I give this movie a 2 out of 5. Not worth your time. And if you still want to watch this, you can but please don’t bring your kids. There were a number of kids in the audience but they were all grossed out by the kissing scenes and there were a lot of them. I’m pretty sure there were more but there was an obvious cut in the middle, which spoiled it for me. If you want to cut a scene out, cut it but don’t make it so obvious.

Trailer…