It’s been 4 hours or so since I watched the trailer of Big Bang’s ‘Made’ tour. I thought I could finally find the words to express the emotions that I’m feeling right now but I’m still at a loss for words. Words has failed me today, ladies and gentleman, and it’s all thanks to these five lovely talented men.

It has been 3 years since their last album, Alive, and many VIPs, excluding myself, have eagerly awaited for their oppas. (I am excluding myself because I have only been a fan of them for 4 months so I have not been waiting for very long.) And finally the time has come for the kings of K-Pop to be back.

And back they did…

What did I just watch? Is this a movie starring all five of them? What is that hair, T.O.P? Is that a sideburn, Mr. Kwon Jiyong? Why did Daesung smoke a toothpick? Am I dreaming or is Seungri’s hair really blonde? Why is Dong Youngbae hot? How did he make a grown woman feel like she’s 16? What is this feeling in my heart? What is life? What is air?

All these questions are going through my head as I sat entranced in front of the computer for 2 minutes. Give me an entire album and I do not know how I could withstand it. I probably could not.

I thought I was ready, my readers. I am a grown 31-year-old woman who had been through many boyband phases – New Kids On The Block, Take That, Backstreet Boys, ‘N Sync, Westlife. I had been through it all. I thought I could take my first Big Bang comeback experience.

I was wrong.

I am not ready. My body is not ready. My mind is not ready. My heart is not ready. My blood pressure is not ready. My entire being is not ready, except for my bank account. I had a mental and emotional breakdown in the middle of the train ride from work.

In a span of 4 months, this is what these men had done to me.

And I’m not regretting every second of it.

The epic trailer…